I have lots of plans, goals, and ambitions.
One of the biggest downfalls in my life is that I don't like to give them up.
On Sunday, our pastor read a very profound quote.
"It's more fun to search for the truth, than it is to accept the truth"
I don't know who said it. It was a quote that he read in a book.
That quote represents a huge part of my life. I search for the truth, I really do. I want to know God's will for my life. I want to know His plans. My aim is to follow where He leads me.
The problem is, usually the answer is sitting right here in my lap, but I don't like it. I would rather keep searching in the hope that there will be another answer, because I'm not content with the one He has given me.
I've always wanted to write a book - I still do. I've always wanted to be the kind of person that would be able to get up on stage and talk to hundreds of people about God. I want to be the kind of person that impacts hundreds of thousands of people for Christ.
I don't think any of those ambitions are necessarily wrong. What's wrong is my desperate, prideful attitude that says I'm not glorifying God unless I do all those things. I was listening to a Paul Washer sermon last night and he painted one of the most beautiful pictures of the Christian faith that I have ever heard.
He asked if God took the most beautiful, perfect rose that He had ever created, and He placed it in the middle of a dense forest where no man would ever walk by, would it be a waste of that rose?
He said that some would answer yes, it would be a waste because it would never bring glory to God from where it was because no one would ever see it.
His reply was, "You fool."
God, the Creator who placed that rose there would see it every day. And every day that rose would bring glory to His name.
Even if God is the only one who sees me and my broken attempts to bring glory to His name, it is enough. He sees and that's all that matters. I don't have to write that book to bring glory to His name. If He wants me to write it, He'll make a way, but if He doesn't, that's okay. I don't have to speak to hundreds of people about the gospel to bring glory to His name. Right now, I am being called to bring glory to His name right here, even if no one ever sees but Him.