There are moments of time in each person’s life when they must decide who they are and who they are meant to be. There are moments when the mind is made up and knows its course. And there are moments when dreams turn into the ambition which drives us along life’s winding road.
When I was young I had life figured out. I knew who I was and I knew who I was to become. But I had doubts which I would toss to and fro through my mind. I had a full proof plan, but yet it lacked the adventure and the peril which I so hungrily sought. I wanted a life of value and meaning, but was bored by the plan that others laid out so clearly before me. What glory and adventure can be found in following the status quo? How can a person find the value and meaning of their own life when they are told to live the lives of all those around them?
In the last couple of years I have battled many decisions in my head. For some perplexing reason, graduating high school seemed like the end of my present life. It loomed before me like a cliff, waiting for me to jump to certain death or board the only plane around. Now that graduation truly is nearing, I do not see it as a cliff, but rather as a fork in the road where one path is broad and well trodden, and the other rugged and narrow. Many have chosen the path well worn and walked on. I do not wish to argue that they are wrong, or that they have chosen unwisely. Many are called to walk down that path, but for me it seemed too normal, too good, and too predictable. And so I have chosen a path less trod.
I love my home. It is the place that the Lord has placed me. For me it is the entrance to the less traveled path. As I have sought the Lord’s will on where He is sending me, the answer repeatedly has been, here. For a very long time I yearned for exotic lands and foreign countries. I wanted to learn Hebrew, Greek, Russian and Italian. I wanted to save the world. But, He didn’t send me to exotic lands. He taught me to tread on the unknown lands of this life. I did not learn to fluently speak four different languages. But, He taught me the language of love which is more universal than any other language. He has not allowed me to save the world. But, He has used my life to impact others around me. Here in my home with my family, the Lord has placed me. It is not a dull life here. It is a vibrant, jubilant land of laughter and love, whispers and tears, dreams and learning. God has fulfilled more of my dreams here in my home than anywhere else in the world.
Some may look at me and see a wasted life. I do not try to combat them. My mind is made up. My heart is at peace. My vision rests solely on the One who has given me life and breath and has directed me upon this path. I am not some weary damsel that sits wilting away in a hole. On the contrary! I have a future ahead of me full of teaching kindergarten through high school, continuing my current love of teaching music, learning business management while helping to run a family business as well as run my own, polishing my seamstress skills, writing up a storm, learning to pay bills and taxes like every other small business does, and studying an endless list of subjects such as first aid, history, theology, science, art, missions, etc. not to mention learning how to care for children of all ages and run a household. The Lord has filled my life to the max with endless opportunities. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. The Lord has given me a ministry far beyond what I ever could have imagined, and the ground zero for the whole thing is in my home with my family.
John Piper once wrote, “God is most glorified in us, when we are most satisfied in Him.” Friends, there is nothing on earth as wonderful as being satisfied in Him. Whenever my heart begins to fear the future or feel waves of doubt, I find peace in knowing that the God of the entire universe and of every living thing has ordained, before time began, who I am and who I am to become. My past, my present, and my future are all in His hands. I have nothing to fear. What can man or life do to me outside of God’s will? I think L. M. Montgomery said it best when she said:
“…But if the path set before her feet was to be narrow she knew that flowers of quiet happiness would bloom along it.”
-from “Anne of Green Gables”
The best place on earth to be is where the Lord has placed you. And if that place seems hard and barren, know that it is He that walks beside you and wills the flowers to bloom along your path.