Sunday, October 23, 2011

So, you thought you knew...

Well, once again I find myself here on Sunday night after arriving home from the Reformation Day Faire. Last year at this time I wrote out my music testimony, which has been and still is my most popular post. I find it amazing how God works. I was rather nervous about writing that post, but I am so glad I did because God is continuing to use it, probably in ways that I may never know about.

This has been our third year attending the Reformation Day Faire. It's a highlight of my year so I tend to think of the year in terms of this weekend. I was thinking about the first time we went two years ago and how far God has brought me since then. I can clearly see the frustrated 15 year old that I was then. That weekend was a life changer for me, in more ways than I even care to tell you. God taught me many things through it and in the process of time afterwards. The last two years have been a whirlwind of emotions and struggles as I seek to discover God's plan for my life. Two years ago today, I left the Reformation Faire thinking that I finally had it figured out. I knew exactly what I was going to do, who I was going to become, and how it was going to happen. I was so thrilled and excited. I clung for dear life to that plan. I so wanted my life to go exactly how I told God I wanted it to go. I was so sure, that now I can only laugh at how naive I truly was.

You see, if there is one main lesson that I believe God has taught me over the last two years, it would be this:
A story worth having is a story worth letting go.

Let me explain this a little.
 First, I use the word story because I like to think of my life as a story being played out. A story like that of one of my historical heroes. A life of perfectly planned events all knit together to play out God's ultimate plan.

Second, I say, "a story worth having..." because I have always dreamed of leaving a life legacy that future generations will actually want to pass down. I hear of the great women of faith and I want to leave behind me a story like theirs.

Third, I say "...a story worth letting go" because I believe in the sovereignty of God. My story is not my own. It is a story with an Author other than myself. My life story is not going to turn out the way I had planned two years ago. (And I am 100% okay with that!) I would not trade what my life is now, for the life I planned two years ago, ever! And I mean that. God has taught me so much and changed my heart in more ways than I can explain. He brought me through trials, some very emotional, simply to teach me more about Himself and to teach me what it means to truly trust Him with my life.

You can say that you trust God all you want, but I think that for many of us there are many areas of our lives that we still cling to. I thought that I trusted God with my whole life, and to some extent I did, but not to the extent that I thought. God had to take me on a journey of showing me how my plans for life were not going to line up to His perfect plan. As He showed me this, I had to make some changes. There were things that I had to let go of because I wanted them so bad that I was making them idols in my life. It is so easy to set up idols in our hearts. Mine was the life that I had planned and that I wanted to live.

I now see that what I thought would be the perfect story, was not what God had in mind. I had to hand over the pen... and the paper....and the ink....and the title.....and the other characters besides myself....and the plot...and the places I would go... and everything else that was included in my story. I even had to remove my name from the cover of the book.
And what I ended up with looked a little bit like this:

My Story

By: Kaila Babiak


His Story

By: Jesus Christ

Because you know what? That's really what I want my life to be. I want my life to be Christ's and Christ's alone. My plans, whether they include music, or marriage, or missions, or motherhood, or whatever, do not belong to me. They are His, and He is teaching me more and more to just leave the writing up to Him.

So, I want to challenge you. Look at your life. I mean REALLY LOOK at your life. Seek out that part that you are hiding in the depths of your heart. Ask the Lord to show you any ways that you are not trusting Him. Ask Him to help you find whatever it is that you are still clinging too.

Then hand it over. No regrets. It will be one of the best decisions of your life. And then be willing to live the life God has written for you because, a life worth living, is a life worth giving to the Lord.

A story worth having is a story worth letting go.

In Christ,

No comments: